Love God. Love People.

hisbeloved-kellymarie:

Time and time again I come back to this.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11

I went back to the world like a dog returning to it’s vomit.

And I watched the girl I thought I was drop her pearls in pig pens and dance with strangers.

And I wore more clothes, got more addictions, started talking like everyone around me, because I didn’t want anyone to see how spotted I had become.

My spots are like bruises, painful to the touch, ugly, dirty. I have become afraid to be touched, seen, loved.

But every morning I wake up and I know I have to keep fighting.

This isn’t about giving up. 

My God is a God of restoration.

 

Jesus. His love is like lightning, His touch is fire. My hands are quivering, I cannot move when He is near me.

His glory is everlasting, and the Father has placed everything under His feet.

And He has an inheritance in me.

Underneath this dirty exterior, underneath my weakness and tendencies towards things I am too scared to stop, underneath the burden of time and the pain of growth, He has a bride.

And she is white with His blood.

She is perfect with the kind of love that drives out fear and washes clean conscience.

And so I will fight. For her.

For His bride. For His pleasure, for His honor, for the gift of His love.

Because sometimes it’s just about showing up.

Sometimes it’s just about getting out of bed every day and trying to be better, trying to be the best version of myself I can.

Because I have faith that inside this lost child, there is someone covered and protected completely in the sacrifice He made.

He’s enough.

He’s enough to want to keep fighting.

This is not about me.

And when I fall, when I continue to fall, when I lose myself in the noise and false beauty offered by the world, I know He will always find me.

 

For He cannot forsake Himself.

He saved me. He saves me.

That’s enough.

My God still restores.